Okay, so it is a given for the majority of us that we are coming to Thailand to party.  And what a place to do it.  From crooning out your favorite love songs in back-alley karaoke bars to sleeping in the sand at the Full Moon Party, a trip across Thailand can be one blackout after another.    Here are some of the different alcohols you’ll come across, or stumble across, when traveling in Thailand.

The Infamous Whiskey Bucket

Ah, the whiskey bucket.  It’s been a while since I had the nerve, but some treasured memories exist somewhere in the back of my damaged mind of drinking obscene amounts of liquor out of a small plastic buckets meant for building sand castles.  Chances are your first few days in Thailand will be spent on Khao San Road, and stalls are set up in the nighttime along the street for you to get your whiskey bucket education.

They fill the bucket up with ice, pour in a pint of Jack Daniels, Thai whiskey, vodka, or whatever other poison they can conjure, and then fill with soda or red bull.  Toss in a couple straws and you’ve got yourself a super-sized cocktail—are you sure this isn’t an American invention?

If like most backpackers you are drifting from Bangkok down to the coast or to the islands, the whiskey bucket will follow you wherever you go.  Be careful, these things will knock you out—something about drinking liquor by the bucket simply equals obscene belligerence.

Thai Beers

I’m glad to see you’ve evolved beyond the whiskey bucket.  You can’t live long on a drinking program that intense.  If you plan to stick around for a while, you’ll likely graduate to Thai beers.  You’ll find that Leo and Tiger are pretty mellow, but in my own overeducated opinion, I find them to be more reminiscent of drinking Coors or Budweiser back in the States.  Singha, on the other hand, is a crisp beer with a good taste and a decent splash of alcohol.

But by far the most popular beer in the Land of Smiles is Beer Chang, and I’ll tell you right now it is not because of the taste.  Beer Chang is a hit among travelers, expats, and Thais alike simply because it will get you piss drunk and it is ridiculously cheap.  Another word of warning—there is no quality control where this stuff comes from.  Word on the backpacker circuit is that tests have shown a bottle of Beer Chang to have anywhere from 2% to 14% alcohol.

My Thai friends are going to hate me for saying this, but if you really want a quality beer in this country, keep your eyes peeled for the Beer Lao. Without contest, this is the best beer out of Southeast Asia region and has even won awards in Belgium.

Speaking of Belgium, if you are a true beer connoisseur, you can still find your favorite Belgian and German delights at many of the farang establishments. You’ll pay extra, no doubt about it, but if you like your beer its worth it.

Trying the Thai Whiskey

Okay—it’s official. You’ve been here too long. Either pack up your bags and run home before its too late or settle in for the long run. All kidding aside, Thai whiskey is much more like rum than what we know as whiskey. Sangsum is recommended—its got a nice sweet taste and mixes well with coca-cola (don’t expect sophisticated cocktails off the tourist track).

If you’re really feeling adventurous, step into the most basic restaurant you can find and ask about their Thai whiskey. Many of the casual spots will have cheap home-made whiskey from rural Thailand and China. The best thing about this foul-tasting stuff is the price tag—a small bottle for anywhere from thirty to sixty baht! That’s just too good to be true.

Well, yeah, you’re right—it is too good to be true. You’ll find out soon enough that what it does to you is in no way worth the money saved. Make no mistake, this stuff is foul—like cough syrup mixed with dirt—and you will wake up feeling like 20 Thai boxers muay thai’ed your head. It’s just not a drinking program you can adhere to.

That said, I’m all for international experiences, and this unpleasant one has been too much fun for me too skip on several occasions. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Before you get too excited and start running around trying your hand at Thai liquors and such, you better learn a little something about drinking etiquette. Check out “Wasting Brain Cells 101: Thailand Alcohol Etiquette” to find out how to behave when you’re misbehaving.