The Truth About Thai Girls: 5 Things You’ve Got All Wrong

Posted By: James D on Jul 10, 2010 in Culture and Customs
asian woman drinking
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It’s no secret to most people that Thailand is known for go-go bars and massage parlors. The average Western male comes here with ideas of red lights and grinding hips, and all that follows. As a result, many have a very misguided idea about what Thai girls are all about, and it’s important to keep some perspective.

The average tourist who never pulls his ass off a barstool down in Phuket, Bangkok, or Pattaya is naturally exposed only to a certain type of girls, so that’s all he sees.

But here are 5 things you’ve all wrong about Thai ladies.

1. Not All Thai Girls Are Working Girls

Not by a long shot, and most guys at least have enough common sense to realize that much. Yet they still apply the same lens to every other woman they meet and assume they’re just like those girls they meet in the bar. Which brings up the other 4 points.

2. Not All Thai Girls Want Your Money

This is a myth that goes well beyond the bar, and sure, money is a real factor in Thai relationships (in all relationships, for that matter). That doesn’t mean, however, that it is the defining factor of ALL relationships with Thais—just look at how many women in Thailand fall in love with a Thai man their age who isn’t so well off.

Not to mention that there is a whole class of society in Thailand that would look at your money and scoff. Rich Thais have more money than you could ever dream of having, and the most elite women would not be caught dead, let alone allowed, dating a farang. I’m not saying the reasons for this are just, but it helps to keep a little perspective and realize you’re not the prize you think you are.

3. Not All Thai Girls Are Easy

While younger Thais have certainly become a little more promiscuous over the years, many men in Thailand consider it common knowledge that you have to spend a long time courting a decent woman before she’ll ever consider sleeping with you. For many, it could still mean waiting for marriage.

And even if there is a chance of sleeping together sooner, for Thais the most important thing is keeping up that public image. Touching women in public or making out in front of others is pretty taboo, so keep your hands to yourself, especially if you haven’t spent enough time together to know the boundaries. Even touching a proper Thai woman’s upper arm can amount to crossing the line.

4. Not All Thai Girls Like Western Men

Can you blame them after the sampling of us they’ve grown accustomed to seeing? For many Thais, being seen with a Western man is the ultimate embarrassment. Again, I’m not condoning this kind of prejudice, but it’s a real part of Thai culture. So even if you aren’t an overweight, balding expat over here trying to get the most bang for your buck, you still won’t have access to a huge section of the dating pool.

5. Not All Poor Thai Girls Want or Need the Above Either

A lot of what I’ve mentioned above especially applies to the middle and upper classes, but it’s important to give the poorer masses of Thailand some respect too and acknowledge that many of them never resort to working as prostitutes or even looking to some Westerner to save them. Many work hard their entire lives to do their part for their family without sacraficing their morals.

Others are satisfied to marry a quiet, humble Thai man, whether he has money or not, and seem more than happy with this decision. You see, money might be more important here in many ways, but it’s also easier to be happy here with less.

So keep these things in mind when you’re visiting this beautiful country. Maintain a little perspective, try to step out of the beach bars, and make sure you leave your beer goggles in there where you found them. Because the lenses of those glasses don’t quite put things in perspective the way they should.

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James D

With years of living in Southeast Asia under his belt, freelance writer James D is your go to guy for all things Southeast Asia. If you're interested in learning about the true grit of a particular place and enjoy bold statements with a humorous undertone you will love all of the articles James has on Tikikiki. James packs every article with rich information based on his own real experiences in Southeast Asia. If you want to get the real lowdown on travel in Thailand without all the sugar coating you will find it here in James' posts on Tikikiki.

Discussion - 50 Comments

  • Rob Aug 23, 2010 

    This is the best article I have read on this subject. There are too many disgusting western men trying to take advantage of nice Thai girls (well most of them anyway).

  • Kimberly Juchnowski Aug 27, 2010 

    There are too many, it’s sad. But I’m sure there are a few Thai girls who are out to take advantage of tourists as well. I’m not saying that makes it ok, because I really do find it repulsive.

  • James D Sep 20, 2010 

    Thanks for the comment! Another really interesting point though is that studies show something like 95% of the sex trade in Thailand is for Thai men and not Western men–so, it is a real part of the culture that initially had nothing to do with Westerners. Just like people in America flock to Nevada for legal prostitution (or SF for not so legal), I guess sex tourists just head where it’s either legal or tolerated.

    It repulses me too and I can’t stand to be in those environments, but the best way to avoid it is to avoid going to big hot centers, like Pattaya, Patong, and certain areas of Bangkok. That and certain Thai karoake bars that are obviously there for a reason.

    One thing I’ve noticed is that in an environment with a lot of foreigners, the prostitutes look and act completely different, and the men who don’t know the ins and outs of Thai culture grope all over them, disrespect them, etc. Thai men don’t do that because it’s frowned on.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condoning prostitution of any kind no matter how they behave, but it’s easier to for us to be repulsed when an old white guy is sliming all over an obvious prostitute then when an older Thai man who could be her grandfather or sugar daddy for all we know is just sitting there quietly enjoying a drink in an everyday kind of place. So sometimes when it’s not so obvious it’s still going on right underneath our noses.

    Another eye-opening point is that tons of Japanese and Chinese men come here for sex tourism as well–as well as men from certain parts of Africa. Many of the men from these cultures, from my observations (which are limited, I must admit) have fewer qualms with economic relationships of all forms. Just a little perspective that it’s not just the whiteboys–that’s just what the average Western traveler sees. :)

  • James D Sep 20, 2010 

    Yep, Kimberley, they’re definitely out there, and any man in the dating scene here definitely does need to be aware of being vulnerable and use a little common sense. In my experience, it’s not really all that hard to tell the difference as a lot of guys make it out to be–although the language barrier can make it hard to figure out what’s going on.

    My advice to any guy thinking about dating in Thailand is to meet women who have their own money and their own career–someone that is more like them in lifestyle and intellect. I’m not saying there aren’t some great women that live out in the country here that probably have great hearts as well–but maybe just never had the financial and educational opportunities that we did–but for most (at least younger) Western men who are open-minded enough to be traveling around the world, there isn’t really going to be much common ground there to begin with.

    So guys, find someone who speaks decent English, has preferably traveled a little, and has their own income. A lot more chance of success, IMHO. You probably wouldn’t date prostitutes or people who had a first grade education and didn’t speak your language in your own country, so why in the world would you do it here?

    To be clear, I’m not meaning to look down on women from poor, rural environments (many of who have still managed to get an education and a good career) or even women who have resorted to prostitution for whatever reason. Most all women no matter their life situation deserve respect, but a little common sense is in order.

  • Max Normal Dec 14, 2010 

    What a load of crap. Of course MOST Thais are not interested in western men, but if you go to Bangkok, you will see hundreds of fat grey haired western men with gorgeous girls on their arm. The girls get to go to expensive resturants (and often invite their family along) as well as going to expensive shopping malls to get things they would not normally afford.

    While no doubt the majority of gorgeous Thai girls are not interested in dating western men, those that are interested are more than plentiful, and hanging around in the bars that western men frequent, particularly around the Sukhumvit business area and Kao San Road. I don’t think that western men would probably venture into the Thai residential areas to look for women anyway. Yes it may be immoral, yes you may disagree with it, but if a man wants to date a good looking Thai girl, he just needs to walk into the right bar and ask (not just hostess bars either). I stayed in Thailand with my English girlfriend by the way, but I witnessed this every day.

  • Kimberly Juchnowski Dec 21, 2010 

    Yes, but are the girls hanging around these bars in Skhumvit and Kao San Road interested in the white men just because it’s their preference or because of other reasons? I’m sure there are plenty of Thai women who are interested in white men, (and I don’t mean interested in them for their money) but I don’t think that a large number of the bar girls in these areas fall into that category. Typically the women who hang out in those areas are after foreign men because they will spend money on them. I think that if a man picked up a Thai women in one of these bars it would be hard to tell if her affection for him was genuine.

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  • A.Thomplinson Dec 14, 2011 

    Yeah right… there are plenty of Thai girls who have been preying on white men for doggone years … plenty to go around for whites to devour – have bahts, can have fun!!

  • Kimberly Juchnowski Dec 17, 2011 

    Yes, of course there are plenty of Thai girls who prey on Western men, and that doesn’t make the situation any better, but it does not mean that ALL Thai women are like that.

    Your use of the word devour is less than respectful. And if you call fraternizing with prostitutes “having fun” then you are a part of the problem.

  • Steve Dec 26, 2011 

    Very many men go to Thailand and fall in love with a thai bar girl and don’t understand what went wrong when she cuts him off… poor guys…

    Great article, and I love the book you are linking to! Bought it a while ago.
    I recommend reading it!

    Keep up the good work!

    Steve

  • willy Dec 29, 2011 

    Greetings from Singapore! Nice article by the way. Well, girls over here are kind of worst then what most people think about Thailand. Not in the sense of bar girls and such etc. but more likely to describe about culture and lifestyle, i would say in a small island-country like this things gets around pretty quick. As most average/nice girls here are very material, they coming over for your credits and posh car if you had one based on my own experience.

    Now I had settle down with a thai wife married for years and had a kid currently residing with me of coz, we knew each other from chonburi (near pattaya). Anyway I can say that I have come easy with my lifestyle, no stress, have nice thai food daily, everything comes easy including my own pocket. They are looking toward comfortable living more then wealth.

    Singaporean are high paced country and everyone one looking toward how to earn more and comparing each other’s wealth at most time. And most people from 3rd world are not able to keep up with the pace here. So any one who are able to reside here without worries and other people are having good positive mindsets. I see very little Thais over here. That explains why i love my wife. We share the same culture. Like we both are buddhism, be natural and low profiles, had stir fried foods unlike grilled food and burgers daily, what mainly Asian blood had :) we communicate in Thai (she tought me and i learned myself) so there is no conflict and easy to understand each other.

    if you go other parts of Thailand like chonburi, southern Thai non tourist attractions and such you will not going to see westerners around, people there often mistaken me as thai people, and the fact that i can speak thai too. well there are many fair skin Thai people around too :)

  • Kimberly Juchnowski Jan 01, 2012 

    Hi Steve,

    Thanks, I’m glad you like the article, and the book too. They are both aimed at helping people understand what’s really going on with the whole bar girl situation, and James did a great job of getting some very important facts out there.

  • Kimberly Juchnowski Jan 01, 2012 

    Thanks for the comment Willy.

    I’m so glad that you found someone who makes you happy, sounds like the two of you have a very loving relationship. Buddhism is one of the things that attracted me to Thailand. The natural and low profile lifestyle you described is hard to find in other parts of the world.

  • Philly Jan 02, 2012 

    Howdy,
    I met my wife in Thailand. We were married last year, Im fairly young 24 and met her in a bar. She is great and pretty young also, actually 1 year older. I am not rich and she knew that from day one. I actually wanted to marry a Thai lady and went there looking to find a partner for life. It was very difficult. Your normal Thai girl is pretty shy and hard to approach. I spent 1 month looking (not in bars) and came up short. Without Thai friends or connections inThailand it was very difficult. On my last night there I went to a bar and met my wife, she is really amazing and its hard to believe that I found her where I did. She told me most girls that work in bars are nice and respectful but just really need the money and normally lack a full education.

    I asked her wether the young Thai ladies that get around with the old gross looking fat tourists would actually love them,… she said yes why not? as long as they are nice to her and play a role in looking after her and her family most of them will genuinely love him forever. I do not know many white girls that would do that and it is strange to me. I never thought I would meet my wife in a bar in Thailand and some of you are going to judge me for it. I never used those bars for what they are, I took an amazing woman out of that environment and couldn’t be happier.

  • Molly Mar 22, 2012 

    Thank you for your kind.Thailand have 76 provinces.All of you been to thailand only a few place.You can not judge thai woman are the same.But i think,The people in the world are the same not even thai woman.

  • Sofie Mar 22, 2012 

    I agree with you . I married with Canadian man . He doesn’t rich if compare with many men who want to marry me .I have been work at the hotel for 8 years. and use to work in Us for a year like a manager. I never ask money from him becos i have a good job and good money .My husband is a good man and good heart . He always said Thai or Foreigner was the same nothing different. If you want to find a good wife or your soul mate and you went to bar girl or strip pub what do you think about???

  • Nattarida Smith Mar 22, 2012 

    So true !! I actually had more money before I met my WHITE husband lol

    I’m sure if someThai girl see the white trash trailer park or how many people line up to get food stamp, they will change their mind about Westerners.
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  • Nattaya Th Mar 23, 2012 

    Some one judge judge the thai women by nagative or bias from his lens of eye not open their eyes wide more than Pattaya, Phuket, Khow San or Sukhumvit area.

    70 Millions people in Thai has their own way, just a little bit of people who sold their body but not fair for the other Thai women who are working with their own feet and don’t want to sole her body for the foreigners.

    I am a one of Thail lady who working in an American company in Thai, I am so happy in my life and never like to go the bar or some place that popular foreigner likes to go there.

    We have the best best and best destination that our Thail people know. Just a little bit some places in Thailand that popular foreigner knows.

    That is not fair for the good Thai lady to found nagative mine with bias person to judge them.

  • Kimberly Juchnowski Mar 23, 2012 

    Hey there Philly,

    Thanks for commenting. You’re situations sounds pretty unique (especially since you did mention you are quite young). And I’m glad that you were able to find love, and have an better understanding of some of the reasons women fall into that lifestyle. I wish you and your wife all the happiness in the world!:)

  • Kimberly Juchnowski Mar 23, 2012 

    Ladies, it’s so refreshing to see some Thai women in here telling it how it really is!!!

    Nattarida you are too funny:) “So true !! I actually had more money before I met my WHITE husband lol”

    And Sofie, you are so right, what do they think about when men go to strip clubs to find their “soul mate”?? That is absolutely ridiculous. Clearly they are only after one thing.

    I was out with my friend (a Thai women) in Samui and it was appalling how many men assumed she was a bar girl. She put them in there place pretty quick though. It just goes to show you how ignorant some people are. My friend can’t even go out and have a good time where she lives because people are always assuming she’s a prostitute.

    I have met so many beautiful, kind and successful Thai women. None of whom were in the sex trade industry. It really is pathetic how so many foreigners can’t see past the gogo bars.

  • Nattaya Th Mar 23, 2012 

    I another one thing that I have question inmind what you are what you go.

    Thailand has many best place to visit both in north or sounth of Thailand.
    Our real Thai culture you can found when you stay or live with local people.

    I have many foreigner friends that love to visit & holiday in Thailand for more 10years and every years my friend go to Thailand and also work with their own web site but bese in Pattay too. This friend is going around Thailand in many places more than the Thail people ever go there. I ever asked him what the best place that he love very much and he said on north east of Thailand is the best place that he impressed with the Thai culture too much.

    North east of Thailand is very poor area in our country but the local people also nice and welcome every one to visit on their place.

    If you have time more, please go to the north of Thailand too. We have many the royal project from our king of Thailand to deverlopment and improvement for bettern living more tha a part. We have a best season in winter, high mountain and beautiful place.

    Here is the link that concerns about our the royal project for deverlopment our country:
    http://www.thai-tour.com/eng/chiangmai/angkhang-royal-project/

    This is the one and the best project to deverlopment our people at high moutain and this project is acceptant by UN and many country came here to learned from Thailand and many country both in Asia and Africa request our king to send the staff to help and deverlopment them too.

    I am proud to be Thai and love to leave in Thailand my country and I never care if some one looks all Thai lady in the bad image. I know what I am and never sole my body to the foreginer, we love to be love a man who love us.

    We have every things are better than the western person know about us. They just come across at small area in Thailand and remember only thing that they saw in a short time. That isn’t at all about Thai :D

  • Nattaya Th Mar 23, 2012 

    Some time I always get missunderstanding from the foreigners too.
    They don’t know how nice we are to other person.

    All Thai ladies are so kind and very nice person due to our culture teach us to sweet and trust on the person who has high age and we are respect to the people too.

    I ever got some question from a foreigner R U Virgin?
    I told him, your question is very rude to a Thail lady and why you really need to know.

    If this question asked to a virgin lady and how feel she has in mind, to upset when heard this question from a man. Yes, it’s very rude to her and not respect to her too.
    As we know in western country sex is open and we never ask the man or the woman from western country as I got this question from this man. This is my privete life to have or have not sex with some one.

    Why a man asked this question to me? He said I came from the land that the woman and the man sold their body for money but I am not, I have my job and working in the American company almost 20years since graduated my education a university.

    This man has bias mind and also nagative to judge me per the news who spread from television, mounth to mounth or ducumentary news but this man never come to Thailand before.

    He asks me both my email, cell phone, skpye and also FB then I never give anythings to him and just leave him on that way he lives.

  • AsianLoveConnections May 16, 2012 

    Ha ha ha, my mom thinks all Thai women are hookers. At least this article puts this and a few other myths to bed.
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  • tu Jun 14, 2012 

    issan girls in the northeast are not accepted by thai siam nor thai yuan (north) nor loas. they usually have dark skin from mixture of dark skin southeast asian aborigines. thai siam conquerred that part from loas, too. thai siam live in the center of thailand and are the richest and the king.

  • John J Jun 22, 2012 

    I met my wife in Thailand. I was staying at a hotel in Bangkok on a visit to see my son 3 years ago. The hotel was hosting a conference and I got talking to a very attractive Thai lady who turned out to be the owner of the company that organised the conference. I had been to Thailand to visit my son before and had taken the opportunity to learn some Thai which impressed the lady. We hit it off and the rest of my stay was spent in her company. When I returned to the UK we kept in touch and I returned to Thailand 3 months later. At the time she was 40 and I was 52. Eventually she became my third wife and I her first husband. We moved to the UK but because she found it hard to control her company from there she asked me to retire and move to Thailand with her. We have been here a year now and she is not only a hardworking businesswoman but also insists on taking care of me. She has never asked me for money, she has more than me anyway, but also insists on using her own money to pay for everything. She also dotes on my young grandkids. To summarise, Thailand is a conservative society and most women are respectable. Most of the derogatory remarks about them come from Western `experts` whose only experience has been gained from a bar stool in the seedy bars of tourist areas. As for the claim that many Thai women are embarrassed at being seen with a foreigner. That`s incorrect, as long as the foreigner is also respectable.

  • tu Jul 11, 2012 

    john J, with other countries, is still false about thais. i’m a thai woman. i’m a thai woman are seen embarrassed with whitemen but not with asian men. we are never interested in any whitemen. TV media in Thailand emphasizes the greatness of asian culture. Historically, black skinned bar girls come from northeast part and today from southern part. The northeast part and the southern part were not Thailand, but the land part conquerred by the tai or siam ethic minority from Loas (ang kor wat empire) and malaysia, respectively, and these 2 parts then have been ruled as inferior or slave by the minority tai shan or in ang kor wat language, siam. People from these 2 lands conquerred by the tai ehtic or siam have black skin and have been forced to work in bars. People from northeast and the south rebel against the ruling tai ethic or Siam, and form separatist movements, and they want to declare dependence from the ruing tai ethic until today. The northeast Isaan people and the southern people who form separatist movement have been defeated by the ruling tai ethic or siam and have been forced into prostitution by the tai ethic as a means for the tai ruler to cover the cost of supressing and defeating these northeast and southern separatists. that’s why they work in pattaya where foreign contacts are. Domestically, prostitution is illegal except sex zone where these defeated separatist northeast and southern people have been often forced in bars. Tai ethic (shan, tai yuan and tai dam) live in westnorth and west central plain and are the ruler class of all 42 races in today’s thailand and the richest, and all thai kings are tai shan descendant or siam. The thai kings never marry black skinned girls from Issan northest or isan women. Only Isaan women from the poorest Northeast are interested in whitemen because they are rejected by rich tai ethic men in the central plain and whitemen accept them. But tai ethic women of siam origin are never interested in whitemen and other asian men, without tai men, they prefer other asian men, not whitemen. physically, whitemen are not much attractive, and i’m a thai woman from Siam proper.

  • tu Jul 11, 2012 

    more info. a lot talk within thai society is that tai or thai ethics come from north in east asia and have a good contact with mongol even Geng Kis Kan. in fact, thai ethic have light skin and are found in west central plain up to the west north and further up to today’s south china. and as i told you, issan women are not thai ethics but multi-racial people of black skin southeast asian aborigines, and are insulted as inferior. And nearly all foreigners (whtiemen and even other asian men :singaporean men) contact these insulted isaan women of black skin who are in bars.

  • jimmy Aug 17, 2012 

    so niave, you offer all this advice, and kimberly you are so hurt by ( western ) behaviour,
    but you know, i must say this, i know plenty of people in thailand and have been there err well a few times and i regard myself as knowing a fare bit of the culture, you think its westerners china men blah blah blah that take advantage, you could not be further from the truth, its the opposite, thai girls and men are the ones that take advantage, you think they are that stupid and don’t know what most men want, so wrong you are and to be honest you insult them by thinking they are that niave, they know exactly what they want, and they know exactly how to get it, if they have lots of land businesses or none, they have the same aim, and that is to ensure a good future for them and there family, they are fully aware of the legal blocks the thai laws have for foriegners, and use it and foriegners to there fullest advantage, why do you think the majority of marriages end with foriegners, its because they have got what they need and he is of no use any more, so don’t think for a split second foriegners are the ones taking advantage, its the reverse, thai girls will even wait for the guy to die to get what they want, yes i know that sounds terrible and it is terrible, but hey we have seen much worse for much less right., so kimberly wake up to the real world, your ignorance is because you wear blinkers, think about it just a bit more before you make any comments, i speak from experience, there are 2 things i will never do, 1 never full in love with a thai girl, and 2 never marry one, but live there yes 100%,,,.

  • BARRIE Aug 18, 2012 

    i would say catagoricly 100% , 98% of thai women are after taking men for their money

  • shain Aug 18, 2012 

    Good work Tu! Real truth is hard to swallow.

  • Lilly Blackadder Aug 24, 2012 

    Just want share my story. Being a Thai woman who has relationship with white man sometimes is not easy. When you walk together on the street people will give you a strange look as if you are different species from them. I used to get that look a lot and I was not very comfortable with that but now I am kind of used to it.
    I am a Thai woman who has been in a relationship with my Australian partner for more than 10 years. We both now live in Australia. I met my partner in Thailand while he was working there as a musician and music teacher. He is not loaded and that’s not what I care about either. We both play guitar and that’s why I was attracted to him play as well as his music.
    I never had a boyfriend before I met him. First time I told my parents that I was having a relationship with a white man who plays music for living, my parents were furious and very disappointed with this daughter especially my mother. She came to Bangkok to meet us. When she saw him she didn’t think that he was serious with me but she never stopped me to continue the relationship with him. I think she trusted me at some point and let me decide what I had to do with my life.
    I was doing a degree in a university in Bangkok and also working part time in an internet cafe where I met him. We got to know each other and he asked me to leave the job so I could focus on my study. He supported me til I graduated. I was working for a few years after I graduated before we moved to Australia. We have a happy life and soon we both are going to be parents!!!

  • soon Sep 04, 2012 

    Hi everyone,let me give my 2 satang worth of comments on Thai woman.As have mention many times that the girls you see in bars around the tourist area is not representative of Thai woman.

    They are only a minority and what they are doing are also being done by their sisters from else where not only South East Asia but also in Latin America, Africa and many other places.

    So why focus only the Thai?Why are they always in the lime light?

    I also notice that lots of westerner after visiting Thailand feel that they know SEA,Thailand is in SEA yes,no doubt about that.But Thailand is not representative of SEA.There are 10 country in SEA,each with their own culture,although there are similarity but they are still differences.If i go to England or France can i say i know Europe?No, definitely not.

    The Thai girls in the bar are only doing what had to be done,i.e. putting their kids brother/sisters to school,helping their parents out and what not.If anyone spend sometime talking to them you will find that they are no different from any other woman from anywhere.Anyone who had gone through poverty can relate to them.Of cos as in any where else there will be some bad apple.

    So at the end of the day it’s all about demand and supply and how you want to live your life,who you want to meet,blah,blah ,blah.

    To anyone who is interested to know,there is a minority tribe in Yunnan,southwestern China call Dai,they speak a language very similar to Northern Thai and they practice the same culture.

    If you go there it will be just like you are in Northern Thailand with all the temple and such. Ms. Tu are you aware of that?

  • John S. Nov 02, 2012 

    Interesting both article and comments. Thank you. I am just over 60, just returned from 2 weeks vacation in Bangkok and had two opposite experiences which I want to share with you.

    1) Sitting in a bar, relaxing and having a beer. Nice young Thai lady walking by. I just smile and say “hi”. She returns the “hi” with smile and stops walking. I ask her if she would like to join me for a drink. She looks at me, hesitates a moment, then says “why not”. We had a nice conversation, and something small to eat. Then she asks me what I will do the rest of the evening. I said I go to my hotel. And, to my surprise, she asks if I would like her to come to my room. There it was my turn to say “why not”. She didnot mention any money. We had a great time. At the end I asked her if I could give her some money or buy a present. She replied she didnt come for money, but its “up to you”, I gave her 2000 Bt she was happy to accept…

    2) A friend recommended a nice Spa massage parlour mainly targeting Thai men, 60 Baht by taxi from Udom Suk. There were about 10 girls, and I immediately spotted one I liked very much. She came along, and before entering the massage room she said that she would do a full B2B with H/E, that i could touch her where i liked, but that she was not there for sex. “If you want complete sex service please get other lady”. I appreciated her being clear about this and we had a good time. Before leaving she thanked me for respecting her.

    Two lovely ladies, one offers sex without me asking for it, the other, where i would have expected it to be included, tells me she doesnt do this. I am still quite puzzled about them….

  • David Nov 15, 2012 

    Before marrying my Thai wife of 37 years, I spent a year living in Thailand. As all young westerners do I was out and about most of the time. I really don’t like bars, go go places, strip clubs, or massage parlors, even in my own country much less in Thailand. However, those were the places to go in Thailand if you wanted to meet girls that would sleep with you. So, that’s what I did. In most cases the girls that I met were very sweet although they were in a business that does not promote sweetness. I actually “fell in love” with just about every girl that I met. Of course there was the occasional course prostitute or bar girl. But, for the most part, I found them to be lovely females. I treated all of them like girlfriends, with complete respect and kindness. They, in turn, treated me like a boyfriend. Yes, I was a very good looking westerner who was slim, athletic, and super clean. Actually still am. Maybe that had a lot to do with it as I cannot imagine any female having sex with an old, ugly, overweight guy even for a lot of money. I think that this has a lot to do with the reasoning of some prostitutes. They have to sleep with undesirable guys so why not get as much money from them as possible. They also get jaded having to do some of the things they have to do. Even with all of this I rarely found a girl who was anything but lovely towards me and where having sex was a complete girlfriend experience on her part. I just feel so sorry for so many of these girls that have to live this life in order to eat. Their families do depend on them and that makes it even more difficult to quit what they are doing. Anyway, to make a long story shorter, I met my wife in a travel agency. She wanted nothing to do with me for about 3 months although I constantly pursued her. She was educated and spoke three languages. Finally she agreed to go out with me and the rest is history.

  • Kimberly Juchnowski Nov 22, 2012 

    Hey there Lilly, Soon, John and David, thanks for sharing your personal experiences on here. It’s always good to see what other people think about the subject.

  • Jess Jan 05, 2013 

    The world is a mixture of good and bad. You will meet lovely people and nasty people in every corner of the world. Thailand is no exception. Some people struggle to fathom this because of the economic differences between some western countries and other nations with poorer economies. Some people are also blind to the fact that every nation has a history, and that the moment you arrive is not that nation’s first encounter with a foreigner. Best advice is behave like a respectful and decent human being. If you can’t manage that, stay in your home country and spare putting other countries and people through your crap. Thank you.

  • Kimberly Juchnowski Jan 06, 2013 

    Hey there Jess, so true. Thanks for your input, you hit all the right points.

  • David Jan 07, 2013 

    Jess, I kind of agree with you, especially about how someone should act in a country that is not there home country. I also feel that there are good and bad in all nationalities and ethnicitys. However, I have lived in Thailand, I have a house in Thailand, and my wife is Thai. The Thai people are the most wonderful people on the face of the earth. A few years back it was necessary for a Thai girl, or even some Thai boys, to go to work in the sex industry. Many times their parents ordered them or sold them into prostitution. Most of the time they could not get a job and the family would have starved if they did not go and make money any way they could. That is not longer the case today. Thailand has 0 percent unemployment. In fact, they have to import 1.5 million foreign workers to fill the available jobs. So, there is really no excuse for anyone to go into the sex trade if they do not wish to. Unfortunately, many do wish to because it allows for quick and profitable earnings. They would rather lie on their back with an ugly old stranger than work in a factory. That being said, I have never in all of my years of being associated with hundreds if not thousands of Thais, ever had one of them treat me badly. They are truly wonderful people.

  • Jay Jan 30, 2013 

    I need an opinion. I met this really nice thai girl who has made me happier than I could ever imagine. We hang out all the time and it is all completely innocent. We dance, we laugh, talk and just enjoy each others company. We have share a few gentle faring kisses and sniff kisses but neither of us have pushed the boundaries. Here is the problem, I think we both have falling for each other. This would not be a problem except I just met her a few weeks ago but I am at the end of time in Thailand. I have been here off and on the the past three years because of work but now that work is done and I must go back to my country. I have every intent of becoming an expat but have loose ends at home to attend to. I already know that this woman I have met is saddened by this and my question is this. What would any of you do? Is it possible to maintain a relationship with a Thai woman when you know you may not return for several years? Yes there are plenty of opportunities for her to visit me and vise versa but is it enough in this culture?

  • ray Feb 23, 2013 

    Its hilarious how ‘most’ of you white idiots think you are high and mighty when at best, you come crawling to asia in search of the myth to fill that stupid void of yours and when your bubble is burst, you come up with all kinds of accusations to cushion the blow.

    Though i have some really nice and educated mat salleh friends, to the rest of you rednecks, i say: Grow Up!

  • oracle Mar 27, 2013 

    Whats the farkin difference?….western women ..thai women…ill tell you…thai come at half the price..trade em in any time…they actually love you..they can cook and clean and have religion and family values..there good shit for the average westerner…western women..demanding..trouble making..if you aint a chess piece your farked..wont do shit around the home..and think there the next best thing to sliced bread..materialistic and to self conscious…i farked em both for many years…but its to much …to much b/s…heres a tip..if your looking and serious look abroad ..they still got values…me now.. i prefer my own company with select friends..enjoy friends..lifes short take a gamble!!!

  • Gregg Milligan Mar 27, 2013 

    To know the majority of humans have not evolved, one only has to read, watch, and/or listen to a conversation between two or more individuals regarding ‘any’ subject.

    The post by “Jess” is spot-on. There is no such culture and/or creed throughout this entire world that is more or less good or bad; right or wrong. The world will always be what you make of it.

    It was in early science that I first learned skin pigmentation (color) is based on 1/8th of 1 chromosome. In humans, each cell normally contains 23 pairs of chromosomes, for a total of 46. 0.00272…. would be a numerical representation of skin pigmentation – a diminutive number in which many humans have inflicted great harm simply because of another’s color. Primitive would be a generous word used to describe these ridiculous and heinous acts for something no human has control.

    And now we have, yet again, another discussion filled with more bias, prejudice, and hatred against an individual due to their culture (e.g., Asian – broken down into nonsensical groups of: light/dark skinned, Provincial – depending upon what area of Asia, etc.; then we have Farangs; which there are just as many ridiculous factors; white/black, American, Dutch, French, backpacker, scruffy, Arabic, etc.) The bigotry and misguided justification is staggering.

    I have an idea. What if we all just dismissed everything about one another save for one: The Content of One’s Character? Try it… You just might be surprised at what a beautiful world this truly is. And, I could really use the company. 

    Gregg Milligan, http://www.godmustbesleeping.com/

  • Pim May 10, 2013 

    It’s TRUE!!!!!…From thai girl ^^

  • andre May 23, 2013 

    From my 8 years experience living in Pattaya, Thailand, I have reaized that most of the ladies who prefer prostitution to a regular job do it because they are lazy. I have met numerous women who have college degrees, and even higher education than that, who are working in massage parlors as prostitutes, or bars as prostitutes, and inevitably when asked the question of why, the answer is always the same, “because the work is easy, just sleep and get money.”

  • gAp Aug 05, 2013 

    I like travel around either abroad or Thailand, like to talk to people, even having foreigner friends. But bad reputation about Thai woman makes me not confident to have farang(westerner) friends, especially men, even though I love speaking English. I always practice my English with my Japanese friends instead. Some Thai girls go anywhere with farang men not only seem bad for western thinking, even in Thailand, too.

    Is it our(Thai girls) fault to be born in Thailand? Actually, I’m proud of myself, I have a good work, pretty high education, great family and not poor. But I can be a worthless woman when I go anywhere with farang men.

    By the way, I wanna say ‘thank you’ for some comments about Thai girls understandably. Sorry, my English is not very well so I cannot explain all I want to.

  • Jake Aug 20, 2013 

    Dear Jay,

    It really depends where you met her. Etc etc..

  • Nida Aug 24, 2013 

    I really like this article. Some people come to Thailand and look down Thai girl. I’m really sad when they think that most of Thai girl are easy and want money. :(
    After I have reading your article i’m really happy to know that there are people who understand Thai girl.
    Sorry for my poor grammar but I just want you to know i’m very appreciate this topic.

  • Rabie Nov 04, 2013 

    Hey, this is to Tu. I’m from Rayong originally but grown up in Narathiwat. The way you insulted another Thai women that is just not cool. None of my family or friend from Southern of Thailand are married a white man and only a white man I’ve seen was my neighbour is daughter. I’m sure we are all Siam until Songkram decided to changed to Thai! I’ve light brown skin and most of my family are but none of us seeking white man to married or money. Both of my nieces study at BKK and am at Bolton university UK and yet all of my family are civil servants so please because we have darker skin that doesn’t make us low class. I don’t know where you get that from, it’s hard to keep skin light when you are leave right next to the sea. I met my white boyfriend in UK but not yet live together but that doesn’t make all Thai women prostitutes, beside I think that is everyone preferences, so please show some respect. Thanks

  • Rabie Nov 04, 2013 

    Hi Lilly, My family was very much like yours when I broke the news about my BF to my family they was a bit disappointed but I’ve took my BF to visit my family 2 years ago and because he was so quiet and polite so my family just excepted him right the way. I’ve found pretty strange eyes staring at me some times, we travel Thailand a bit about 3 weeks but I not once take him to a bar(those type of bar) but normal restaurant where normal Thai people would visit. Not is that I’m not trust him but I can’t find the reason why I have to go to place like that. We met couple English guys on the train in BKK, ask us to meet them in Patpong but my BF just won’t want to go there and as long he has me by his side that’s all he want, that’s was so sweet of him. I’m not dislike Thai guys but not all white guys are attractive neither, how you put it!? I’m just go with the flow, there are attractive man in all races, white, black, Japanese, Chinese etc. as long that you feel save and free with them, I’d say go as your heart tells.

  • EdMoe Nov 09, 2013 

    it is certainly concern of what’s your activity and interest. If your activity and interest are night out, prostitute, one night stand, looking different women in different country, ofcourse sukuvit, nana, soi cowboy, silom are the place to get shortcut. There are many girls looking after money no matter what color you are, You would find girl, gay, and even not thai such Russia, Chinese, etc..

    well, if you really want to build up long relationship, there are many places out of this and thai girls are the best for married.

    cheers

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