My time in Thailand is coming to a close, and I’m not done writing about it by any means, but I do want to make it a point to cover some of the major “don’t do that’s” before I pack my bags and head out the door. After all, it’s often what we don’t know rather than what we do know that gets us in trouble on the road, and when you come to a country where you don’t know the culture and don’t know the language, you are not much more than an overgrown, bumbling child, learning how to live a normal life all over again.

Only, you’re big enough to really get under people’s skin with your mistakes. So I’d like to write a series of articles about Thailand taboos to give you some ideas of things you should watch out for.
The one I want to talk about today is the head as a sacred part of the body. In cultural Thai history, the head is believed to hold the kwan, or the force of life, and for many people this still holds true today. Even in cases where it doesn’t, the social conditioning is such that Thai people are very defensive about touching on the head.

This can be a bit of a challenge to remember as a foreigner. In some Western countries, when someone is teasing us, we inadvertently slap them upside their head—usually softly, but I suppose it depends on your social circle. Do this to a Thai who you don’t know extremely well, and prepare for a look of extreme shock to surface on their face.

In fact, you’ll notice young children do this to annoy each other, but only when they are the best of friends. I’ve heard it likened to how some Western children will flick each other in the back of the ear.

You’ll also see couples do it to each other, and in my experience it typically happens when the male is the obviously dominant half of the relationship, and he does it to his girlfriend or “gik” in a teasing manner—almost like picking on your younger sister. I can only conclude it’s a part of reinforcing emotional dominance (by the way, if that sounds strange to you, a lot of that goes on in the earlier stages of men and women dating in America as well, although the one with emotional control is more likely to go either way gender-wise, generalization or not).

At any rate, this is definitely something you should be aware of. I have friends who I’ve done this to in Thailand, but I don’t advocate that at all unless you’ve been here a LONG time and really understand the culture and where your relationship stands. When I do it with my friends, it’s really a big joke and meant to somewhat annoy them—as it is when they do it to me.

Don’t immediately assume your Thai/Western friendships are on the same level as I literally spend every single day with these people and have a great emotional understanding of the nuances. And NEVER do this to someone who is significantly older than you are.
If you do make a blunder in this department, an apology is usually enough to clear it up.

On one last note, standing tall, with your head above other people when walking by, whether they are sitting or standing, is also considered bad form. It generally feels to Thais as if you are displaying dominant status, and unless you are rich enough and/or old enough to actually have that status, it is rude to do that.
Instead, make it a point to drop your head a little when passing by groups of people, and if you are walking through a crowd of people who are sitting, crouch down a little to at least show some sign that you understand the dynamic and are trying to account for it.

In a situation where people are sitting on the floor and eating, you may want to go as far as to walk in a squat until you are off the eating mats and out of the group.

Watch what everyone else is doing and follow the majority—then you should be fine. In these situations, it’s usually the best bet, but sometimes it helps to know what you’re looking for.

More taboos to come.